Being wedding-obsessed is somewhat fun. Colors, flowers, musicians, food, planning, planning, planning....it's a good time for a creative person with too much creativity inside and nowhere to put it. It's been thrilling. It is my pièce de résistance.
I wake up and have a purpose. Today I need to pick a cake flavor. Tomorrow I really need to make a flower choice. By next week, we should really have that itinerary, itenerized. Every day there is a new challenge for my bridal-mind. I mean, I had a mini-celebration when I finally found the right nail color this week. If you heard people shouting in the streets or any celebrations nearby, it was most likely due to the success of the perfect manicure.
One of my coworkers asked me this week: "What will you do once the wedding is over?"
I laughed it off and replied, "Oh, just go back to being peaceful and quiet. Duuuhhhh."
Inside, there was screaming, a panic attack. Holy crap! At some point, this wedding shin-dig will be complete. I'll be all married and my art, my purpose, my sole driving focus will have reached the pinnacle. I will have crested and then comes the plummet....face-plant into life.
I see why so many women go into baby-making mode right after a wedding. That's a sure-fire way to ensure a life long project of raising a child and having a purpose gnawing at you every day. I'm not going into that mode.....just yet. We do want kids, but I'd still like to selfishly enjoy my hubby, just the two of us, for a little while longer, uninterrupted.
Where this line of thought has taken me to is that I love having a font of creativity. This continual drive to focus, plan, divine into being, has been a breath of fresh air. I like having something to do. A sweet little project which keeps me humming about and feeling useful is nice. I get so caught up in work and the daily grind that I end up putting all of my energy into earning a paycheck and paying my bills, that my artistic side withers and wastes away...forgotten.
I'm going to relish this planning time and my all-encompassing need to plan and be involved in creating my dream wedding to my favorite human.
But all of my friends and family ....beware. Once I'm all married and back in LA as Mrs. Vital, I will be looking for personal projects and you might just get dragged in.
