Monday, February 24, 2014

The Age of Passive Aggressive Dating

I'll admit it. I've totally done this.

I was dating a guy and he wasn't texting me back or returning my calls.  It had been 2 days and no sign of him.  So I told him off.....through Twitter.

"Different day same shit, ain't nothing good in the hood."
I'd run away from this bitch and never come back if I could."

My method of communication annihilation: rap lyrics.  Oh, if I was mad, I would tweet aggressive rap lyrics....passive aggressively.  And once I hit the send button, I felt elated.  I felt powerful.  I totally said what I wanted.  Once that doucher opened his twitter and saw my latest post, he would be shamed.  SHAMED!!!  He would know what a beast I am.  And that makes me a winner.

Many years later...and dozens of rap tweets past...I am quite aware that those quotes from The Game did not make me a winner.  In fact, looking back, I'm not even sure what I was attempting to express.  While posting it gave me a bit of self-gratification, what it did not do was communicate on any level nor make any suitor behave better.

I'm now in a wonderful relationship.  And when I'm upset with my guy, I sit him down and we talk about it.  It gets resolved.  Communication happens.

Adults should not be relying on texts to resolve an issue or on a tweet to express how wrong someone behaved.  I can accept that from a 16 year old, who is bumbling her way through her first boyfriend.  I will even pardon my post-divorce self, as I was re-entering the dating world. 

But at some point, possibly the point where you own a car, you should be able to own a conversation.  You have to relinquish the twitter and the instagram and grab onto the talk. 

And if a guy, or a girl for that matter, is not making themselves available to talk, the biggest response you can have is to move on.  If you truly don't have time for losers, you don't take the time to post a passive aggressive meme about it, you simply walk away.  Actions speak louder than pixelated words.