I Like Thinking You Might be Miserable

Your ex found a new girlfriend...and she's hot

 

Your best friend is out on a night you are home....and having the time of her life.

 

 

Your sister makes more money than you...and has a great family.

 

And they are posting online ALL about it.  Big smiles!  Victory declared!  "Best-day-ever!" seems to be every day.  And you feel jealous, annoyed, disappointed that your life isn't as glittery and glamorous as their instagram/Twitter/Facebook feed suggest.  You block them.  You unfollow their feed.  You roll your eyes at their #hashtags of awesomeness.  You look for a way to find a crack in the armor, some dirt amongst the brilliance.

And you will find it....in articles like This is why you shouldn't take people's Facebook lives seriously which lets you and the world in on the secret that some people don't post the bad crap going on in their lives.  This blog writer consoles you by letting you know: "Everyone on Facebook looks like they're having a great time. Fun adventures, deep romances, amazing jobs. It's enough to make you feel inadequate, but it's also a lie. Nobody is really as happy as their Facebook wall claims..."

No shit, Captain Obvious.

In fact, I bet your ex did find a new hot girlfriend and that new hot girlfriend has psoriasis.  Is he going to let you and the mass media know that her scalp is flaky?  Is he going to do the just and honest thing and point out her flaws so you can feel a little bit better about yourself?  No, he probably isn't.  He's going to be a TOTAL douche and only post about his adoration for the good he sees in her.

Your best friend that is out without you is most likely not going to alert the world that she went home with a stranger that never texted her back after they hooked up.  Is she going to post about her inner insecurities and how she feels no one will ever see her true beauty?  Is she going to metaphorically slit her wrists and bleed out her deepest pain for her 1,685 "friends" on Facebook, so that they can understand her nightly partying helps her hide her loneliness, so you won't feel so lonely?  Probably not. 

Your sister bought a new car, is going on a 10-day vacation and is neck deep in Louboutins.  She makes more money in a month, than you do in 4 months and it has clearly bought her happiness.  Do you want to see how much caffeine she takes to make it through another grueling 80 hour work week?  And how that constant supply of buzz-inducing liquid has given her a stomach ulcer, not to mention constant diarrhea? Would you like to see her post how soul crushing it feels to barely see her kids, just so you can feel like money isn't everything?

People have lives.  Complete, complicated, dysfunctional lives.  And if you want to truly know how someone is doing, try calling them.  And if they aren't someone you would call and check up on, then why does their online media affect you?

You know what I REALLY can't stand is when someone uses a Facebook status to garner attention, self pity and becomes simply that bummer of a "friend" who it pains you to follow (*quietly unfollows the feed*).  Cause you know what? I enjoy a stream of cuddly puppies, finished racing medals and people finding success, happiness and love.  I have enough worries, bummers, and enough bad shit that simply happens in my life....which I won't be posting about.

Oh...one last thought....if you need to "take a break from Facebook"....I need you to do three things:
#1. Place your computer in the street
#2. Drive over it
#3. Go find your misplaced grasp on reality and what actually matters

 

Who knew?

 

Well, if you actually know me, you knew.

 

For those of you who equally share a love of zombie flicks and pop art, go over and follow my alter ego and love of fluffy, brain-sucking shufflers at:

 

 

Click the banner and jump in to gooey goodness!

 

You can also head over to my personal Rot Shop

 

here to Buy my Zombies!

 

Here's a preview......

 

 

I appreciate all of the love and support!

-Penny Vital

What Are You Going to do After the Wedding? ...huh.

Being wedding-obsessed is somewhat fun.  Colors, flowers, musicians, food, planning, planning, planning....it's a good time for a creative person with too much creativity inside and nowhere to put it.  It's been thrilling.  It is my pièce de résistance. 

I wake up and have a purpose.  Today I need to pick a cake flavor.  Tomorrow I really need to make a flower choice.  By next week, we should really have that itinerary, itenerized.  Every day there is a new challenge for my bridal-mind.  I mean, I had a mini-celebration when I finally found the right nail color this week.  If you heard people shouting in the streets or any celebrations nearby, it was most likely due to the success of the perfect manicure.

One of my coworkers asked me this week: "What will you do once the wedding is over?"

I laughed it off and replied, "Oh, just go back to being peaceful and quiet. Duuuhhhh."

Inside, there was screaming, a panic attack.  Holy crap! At some point, this wedding shin-dig will be complete.  I'll be all married and my art, my purpose, my sole driving focus will have reached the pinnacle.  I will have crested and then comes the plummet....face-plant into life.

I see why so many women go into baby-making mode right after a wedding.  That's a sure-fire way to ensure a life long project of raising a child and having a purpose gnawing at you every day. I'm not going into that mode.....just yet.  We do want kids, but I'd still like to selfishly enjoy my hubby, just the two of us, for a little while longer, uninterrupted. 

Where this line of thought has taken me to is that I love having a font of creativity.  This continual drive to focus, plan, divine into being, has been a breath of fresh air.  I like having something to do.  A sweet little project which keeps me humming about and feeling useful is nice.  I get so caught up in work and the daily grind that I end up putting all of my energy into earning a paycheck and paying my bills, that my artistic side withers and wastes away...forgotten.

I'm going to relish this planning time and my all-encompassing need to plan and be involved in creating my dream wedding to my favorite human.

But all of my friends and family ....beware.  Once I'm all married and back in LA as Mrs. Vital, I will be looking for personal projects and you might just get dragged in. 

I'm trying to help you, so let me insult you first...

I have recently seen posted and reposted an article telling girls to respect themselves and be cautious of what photos they post online.  Using carefully worded and thoughtful sentences, such as:
"Posing in a lace bra and G-string on Instagram doesn't give the perception that you a "lingerie model"... it makes you look cheap... like the only value you offer is your body."

The article further goes on to explain to the girls that Victoria's Secret models are REAL models.  Victoria's Secret models get paid to wear such outfits and, therefore, what they do is above and beyond what random girls on instagram are doing, which he equates to the lowly pandering of their "pink parts." That I find incredibly funny, as I have been told, by well-informed insiders, that the companionship of some of those Victoria's Secret models is sold more often than the lingerie they pose in. Yet, the blogger elevates them to embody the definition of a real model, basically, because he truly knows neither side of whom he is referring to.

Which brings me to the question, does the blogger actually know these instagramming girls?  Has he met them?  Is he truly trying to selflessly help them see their inner beauty by the condescending tone and belittlement he weaves throughout his paragraphs?  Or is he upset that his meme of the Dali Lama only received 12 likes, while a girl's faceless cleavage shot, #nofilter, received 1382?

I swear if my 16 year old niece ever posts something, which I feel is inappropriate, I would not be blasting the universe with an indirect, all-encompassing article that sprays vehemence like buckshot. I would be calling her mom and then my niece directly.

Attention Instagram "models" is a blog written by a man, for men and women who already agree with him.  I assure you, no girl posting photos of her bikini-clad body has stopped doing so based on this self-aggrandized blogger's infuriation about female body pics being posted online.

The author continues his sensitivity with:
"Any picture of a naked/half-naked woman will get LOTS of views online.  It doesn't make you special... it makes you an adult film star, but without the paycheck."

So not only has he told any girl with a body pic online that she isn't special, but she is also an unpaid sex worker.  Helpful, right?  Only if helpful arises from the combination of generalization mixed with judgmental nature being flung at you.  And one cannot ignore the constant stream of sexism throughout the entire piece as women are solely targeted.

Let's face it, society has moved away from the value of intimate social circles.  There is an increasing  importance placed on social media groups that involve people we will never ever meet. We can now have 1,000s of faceless screennames watch us, like us and follow us.  Social media has become the equivalent of a cyber-highschool where your ranking is based on the opinions of anyone who can access a wireless connection.  It's all just a popularity contest.  You either fall prey to it or you don't.

By writing the piece, the blogger has joined the attention-seeking masses he is criticizing.  His need to be liked and to gain favor has him sparking a discussion, which aligns himself to a group of haters who already exist, in an attempt to be the center of their attention.  Therefore, it is HE who is now liked.  HE who has his content blogged and reblogged.  His method was to take his anger, self-need and personal jealously out on a section of women he has never met.  He has shoved his spite and piety into a nice juicy metaphorical rack of its own.

He also tells these girls that they are:
"Giving peeks of [their] naked self away to random lurkers/stalkers/pedophiles, that's what."

To me, that falls into the threat of "you brought it on yourself."  The regressive mindset that if a girl is assaulted, she is probably encouraging it with a short skirt.  How dare she taunt, flaunt or enjoy baring her body?!  Men are around.  And if men see it, well, we can't control them can we?  Well, technically, the law attempts to and locks them up if they can't keep their hands to themselves...especially if seeing a girl in a bikini has them act like mindless beasts.  Is the blogger revealing his own poor ability to control his urges and asserting it onto the nature of men as a whole?  I would hope not.  I know many men who can handle the sight of the female form and be appreciative and respectful simultaneously.

The blogger drives the point that this is a self esteem issue, which to me is paradoxical.  Because if he had unwavering self esteem, then he would not have been affected by the instagram posting of strangers and how many likes they got.  He would have not felt a need to put these women in their place, so he could raise himself to a higher one.

To sum it up, this blogger comes off weak.  I find it very amusing that certain people aligned themselves with such a dull opinion over an obvious topic and, aside from me writing this, there has been zero affect by posting it.  I hope this blogger finds better things to do with his life than worry about a random girl, posting a random pic, which had nothing to do with him or how he believes people should behave.